


As Orange as Pumpkin Spice

by DoreyG



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Character tries pumpkin spice lattes for the first time, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Implied Relationships, It's Autumn and everything is Pumpkin Spice, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-12-01 20:38:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20892338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoreyG/pseuds/DoreyG
Summary: "Unfortunately, my dear, I have to admit that I'm still lost."





	As Orange as Pumpkin Spice

**Author's Note:**

  * For [scorpiod](https://archiveofourown.org/users/scorpiod/gifts).

"Unfortunately, my dear, I have to admit that I'm still lost," he says apologetically.

"But it's so simple, Angel!" Crowley says, rolling his eyes in his usual incredibly melodramatic way. "Just think of it! Every autumn coffee shops, one of my more brilliant creations if I do say so myself, introduce a season specific flavour. Pumpkin spice, they call it, even though it doesn't actually taste like a pumpkin at all."

"Then what does it taste like? "

"That's part of the genius of it! It just has generic spices in it, in very small quantities. A bit of cinnamon, a touch of nutmeg…" Crowley beams at him. He's still confused but, really, this entire diversion is worth it just for one of those smiles. "It tastes pretty much exactly, in other words, like a normal latte."

He frowns a little, but doesn't stop questioning. "But people will become obsessed with it?"

"People will become _obsessed_ with it!" Crowley grins again, throws his arms wide triumphantly. "You know how easy it is to make people obsessed with inconsequential things that don't actually impact their lives in any way. Think of smartphones! It'll start with the hipsters, they're always looking for something unique-ish but not actually too daring. And from there it'll spread like a disease. Tired university students! Teenagers who want to seem grown up! The entirety of tumblr!"

"Another one of your creations," he says, trying to sound disapproving.

"Yes," Crowley hisses, and the yellow light of his eyes is - quite frankly - charming. "By my reckoning it should be worldwide within a decade or so. Another strident victory for the bad guys!"

"Sounds very… Wicked, " he says carefully, bites back a smile as Crowley preens proudly. "I just have one very small question. What is really evil about this plan? Yes, it sounds like a tiny bit of a deception which is obviously terrible and wrong and so on, but overall you just seem to be bringing a tiny bit of pleasure to people's lives."

"But that's the beauty of it, Aziraphale, " Crowley says dreamily, with a smug little smile. "The people. You know as well as me that the average human hates other humans being happy. I introduce this, people are briefly pleased… And then the thinkpieces will start. The pearl clutching, the sneering, the stereotyping of perfect innocents. Before long everything will be eaten up by vicious recriminations and baseless accusations."

"Not _another_ thing tying into your millennials plan?" he asks, despairingly, and sighs when Crowley gives what can only be described as a triumphant cackle. "Really, my dear, this simply isn't _fair_-"

"Oh, hush, angel. It's another one of those things that you can spin as a victory for your side, easy as anything." Crowley gives him a look that could almost be described as fond, lazily waves his hand until a cardboard cup drops into it almost apologetically . "Besides, I already have an apology for you right here."

"Is that one of those pumpkin spice creations? " He asks suspiciously, and is rewarded with one of Crowley's more obnoxiously innocent expressions. "Really, Crowley, you know that I don't like testing out your "innovations"-"

"Angel, please!" Crowley smirks at him. It's so attractive that he really wishes he was prone to more dramatic displays of displeasure. "Just give it a go, for me. Who knows, you might prove that I'm completely wrong and score a great victory."

He gives an affronted glare for a moment more… But oh, who is he kidding? He's never been able to resist Crowley's temptations, not from the very first. All he can do is take the cup with a snooty sniff, examine it with a judgemental eye and tip it down his throat like it's ditchwater.

A long moment of silence passes.

"...Angel?"

"Crowley," he says desperately, and casts aside his empty cup to grab Crowley firmly by the shoulders. "You _have_ to convince them to make more of these. Right now!"


End file.
